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Michael Stuhlbarg’s monologue (because it’s perfect)

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Michael Stuhlbarg’s monologue (because it’s perfect)

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So I haven’t read the book (yet), but I can’t stop thinking about that speech from Michael Stuhlbarg in Call Me By Your Name. So much so, I’ve dedicated this blog post to it.

Watch/listen/read and try not to bawl your eyes out.

“Right now you may not want to feel anything. Maybe you never learn to feel anything. And maybe it’s not to me you’ll want to speak about these things. But feel something, you obviously did.

“You had a beautiful friendship. Maybe more than a friendship. And I envy you.

“In my place, most parents would hope the whole thing goes away or pray that their sons land on their feet soon enough. But I am not such a parent. In your place, if there is pain – nurse it. If there is a flame, don’t snuff it out, don’t be brutal with it.

“Withdrawal can be a terrible thing when it keeps us awake at night. And watching others forget us sooner than we’d want to be forgotten is no better. We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should, that we go bankrupt by the age of 30 and have less to offer each time we start with someone new.

“But to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything – what a waste!

“Have I spoken out of turn?

I’ll say one more thing.

“I may have come close, but I never had what you two have. Something always held me back, stood in the way

“How you live your live is your business. Just remember, our hearts and our bodies are given to us only once. And before you know it, your heart’s worn out. And as for your body, there comes a point when no one looks at it – much less wants to come near it.

“Right now, there’s sorrow, pain… don’t kill it and with it the joy you felt.

“We may never speak about this again, but I hope you’ll never hold it against me that we did. I will have been a terrible father if, one day, you’d want to speak to me and felt that the door was shut, or not sufficiently open.”

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